The Tender Bar | J. R. Moehringer | It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a bar to raise...

The Tender Bar | J. R. Moehringer | They were the best of times, they were the worst of times

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The Tender Bar

	The Tender Bar J. R. Moehringer Hyperion, 2006 - 432 pages average customer review:based on 154 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a bar to raise a writer.

This memoir charts the coming of age of a young writer. As the title suggests, much of that time is spent in a bar.

The bar is on Manhasset, Long Island, although others stand in from time to time. The hangers-on share good times. They share their lives. They impart lessons to the writer, J.R. Moehringer. Moehringer comes to recognize that he needs the bar to make up for the shortcomings of his family.

Good things keep happening to JR. I suppose that is because JR doesn't need second chances. I heard somewhere the other day that some kids in our society get seven or eight chances to make it, others never get one. JR is more like the latter. After Yale, he ends up selling housewares in the subbasement of a Lord & Taylor. Nonetheless, he turns it all into gravy. He's soon the best salesman. He takes to expounding upon the historical significance of Waterford Crystal to housewives. That's just one example and I don't want to reveal too many details.

That attitude translate into someone whose observations, in spite of their context within his youth, carry into my heart. Anyway, even at 18 he recognizes the weight of meaning within his interactions with people.

I am really glad that I stuck with this book. A lot of people told me to read it, but I didn't listen for a long time. The first part is a lot about bars. I worried that it would all be that way. It is not. The real story is inside JR. That emerges and makes for a great memoir.

I said this was a coming of age novel. It earns that distinction in the way that JR comes to grow beyond the bar of his youth. He grows up and sees the world of Bob the Cop, Steve, ****embabe, and Charlie with more clarity. JR changes. I encourage you to read the book and see how.

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They were the best of times, they were the worst of times

When I started reading this terrific book, I was struck by the simplicity of the language. The prose has a straightforward, journalistic style. It's no surprise that the author is a national correspondent for the LA Times. Also, the writer has taken to heart the advice of a priest on a train, Father Amtrak, to not get caught up in words; rather, in the Irish tradition he must simply tell a story.
And what a story Moehringer tells!
He writes with cleverness and insight about the colorful characters at Publicans and the growing pains of his years at Yale. A scene that will forever stay with me involves his unfaithful and gorgeous first love, Sidney, taking the apple from the hand of a stranger as if it were her God given right to be blessed at every turn. I wonder where Sidney is now and what she feels about the author today? Moehringer is right on point when describing the self-absorption and relational confusion of the college years.
He also gets it right about making mistakes. We make so many "Mr. Salty" mistakes in the work world in our twenties, and continue to make blunders through the years. But they are all relative compared to the tragic mistake of Bob the Cop, and keeping the right perspective is half the battle. As an aside, I was shocked to read that the bar owner Steve was only 47 when he died, and Uncle Charlie's character at story's end was only 46! I imagined them as marinated men in their late 50s or early 60s!
The ultimate strength of the book is Moeringer's acceptance of reality. Who he is, who his father is, and ultimately, how much wisdom he has learned from a strong woman, his mother. An unforgetable read.

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"the Tender Bar"

This book is just so "touching", which is a weak word to use for such a great book! Being a mother, my heart just aches for this dear young boy,then man, as he goes through life. Am sure his Mom is so proud of him! Definitely recommend...RM

A Great Memoir

I thoroughly enjoyed this book - I would hate to give away any of the fabulous story as so many other reviews have, but I will say that in a world full of autobiographies, this one stands out. Moments of entertainment, sadness, empathy, hilarity all shine in this novel and keep you reading along wishing if only it was longer.

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Good book

This book is really good if you come from Long Island and grew up on the North Shore. He mentions so many places I know, it's kind of cool. The book is a little slow and hard to get through but worth it. A friend recommended the book to me and I do like it. I bought it for other friends but haven't heard if they like it or not. But very good, not great but worth a read.

reviews: 1, 2, 3, 4, page 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

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