Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart | Sherry Argov

Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart | Sherry Argov | This is what I am talking about!!!!!!!!

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Why Men Marry Bitc...

	Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart Sherry Argov Simon & Schuster, 2006 - 272 pages average customer review:based on 123 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Not for the Nice Girl!!!!

This book provided a fun easy to understand text about how to break the "nice girl" co-dependent needy attitude! This book was so much fun and not about games at all!!! Its about treating yourself with respect and expecting him to treat you with respect as well! After reading this book I met the man of my dreams and when he said "Mama Its all about you!" I knew he would adore me and treat me like a queen! And he does because I treat me like a Queen!!! Thanks Sherry!

This is what I am talking about!!!!!!!!

As I read this book, I kept saying "Yep, yep, that's true, that's true. Hun, yep, true that". Strongly recommend this book to any woman. It will make your dating/marriage life a better experience full with loving moments.
Dr. Israel King,Ph.D. Author of How To Keep A Man

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Another Great Book By Sherry

A refreshing point of view when the roles of men and women have been confused...This writing is based on reality ...Moreso than a "tell him how you feel" approach

Author Of Black Women Deserve Better

The Dating Bible EVERY woman should read!!!!

This book should be required reading for every single woman out there. The best part of this book is that it reminds a woman that above all, having self love is the most important quality a Babe In Total Control of Herself (BITCH) can have. By not being desperate and accepting whatever a man decides to "dish out" you make your self more attractive because you don't NEED a man. I read this book in about a day and a half and I have already begun to RE-READ certain parts of it again. This book not only breaks down the art of keeping your self respect while dating, it also teaches a woman how to spot the "wrong" kind of men and easily weed them out. I have read many other dating self-help books but none made me feel as empowered as this book has. If you are interested in regaining control of your own love life, then this book is DEFINITELY for you! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

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Why this book only rates 3 Stars...

3 Stars.

Although there is lots of good advice to women in this book, it didn't take me more than about 10 minutes of reading this book to discover the logical flaw in a substantial portion of the author's conclusions and advice to women.

The flaw is that the author interviewed hundreds of men for her source material. Hundreds of men mean that the underlying source data (how men think or feel about a particular subject or situation) is based upon a normal distribution (bell curve, if you will). This is also the reason why there is a lot of good advice, as well.

Now if 70% of the men responded similarly to a question posed by the author, that's what's stated as gospel. The problem with that, is that it leaves out the guys in the tails---particularly the right hand tail where the true guy Gems are to be found. So what women are left with is sound advice on how to deal with the Average Joe.

Let me cite some examples from the chapter "The Sun Rises and Sets on His Boxer Shorts."

Page 66. The author is spot on. Ginger is a dangerous acquisition for a long term relationship. Case in point. I just saw one of these the other night in a upscale restaurant. She was with her husband and another couple. Everything about this woman's physical appearance was flawless. Early forties, a very full and whispy blond hairdo, spandex sprayons, perfect features, posture, legs, butt, breasts, etc. The whole package was absolutely perfect. Except for one thing. She looked like a $1,000 a night whore. I wanted to take a picture of this woman so that I could always remind myself of what I'm not looking for in a woman. The whore look is for the bedroom, not for the public.

Relationship Principles ("RPs") 29-30 are solid advice for women. Parts of RP 31 are questionable. The Gems are not interested in bedding down just any woman. They are looking eventually to bed down the woman that they feel is LTR material. I have hit the "Next" button more than a few times before we have ever gotten to the bedroom.

RP 32 is very good advice. The LaTour-de-Virgin section is very accurate.

The After Party, starting on page 91. Here's where the author's wheels start to come off her bus. The average guy or player is not going to take you out 5 times before he gets any sex. It just won't happen. (If it does, he's a loser.) The Gem on the other hand will...as long as he sees you as a LTR candidate, and as long as he feels that progress is being made toward sexual intimacy. This guy sees the sexual act as a bonding force, a/k/a a commitment to you. He will behave differently toward you. You will see more boyfriend behavior from him right away. So if you follow the author's advice with this kind of a guy, i.e., act absolutely no differently than before, what do you think is going to be going through his mind? He assumed that sex with you meant as much to you as it did to him. He's was rapidly moving into commitment mode...until you acted as though nothing had changed between you and him. Had you changed your behavior to be more girlfriend-like right after sex, you would have had an excellent chance of hooking this Gem. Gems by definition and their very nature are seeking committed relationships. You make sure that he is a Gem by taking your time with him, but allowing him to advance downfield as is appropriate. He does not want to back away after having sex with you for the first time. He wants to be closer to you. He is now thinking of you as a prospective very long term partner. (Remember, this man does not bed down anything with a skirt. He is highly selective because he is goal driven, and does not want to waste his time nor his emotions with someone who will not be part of his long term future.)

Post-Sex Play by Play. The Gem doesn't think like this at all. This whole section is applicable to Joe Average, not the Gems. Follow this advice at your peril, unless of course, you are looking for Joe Average. Why doesn't this lead to commitment with Gems? It's simple. He's crazy about you, but he's going to think that the feelings are not reciprocal, and that you are really not all that interested in having a LTR with him. In most cases, the Gem is going to feel crushed and angry at himself for giving himself to someone who is going to treat him as another Joe. He cannot be in love with someone whom he feels doesn't respect him, and care for him the way he cares for her. How do you think he would feel the next day if he sent you a dozen roses and you acted like nothing had changed in the relationship? He'd feel like a chump, especially if you don't answer all his calls (even though he answers all of yours). (And by the way, the Average Joe, as a general rule, does not send the woman a dozen roses the next day.) So follow the author's advice on this one and your Gem will soon start looking around for the Next button.

RP 33. The Gem wants a woman to be more available after having sex for the first time, not less available. The notion that a woman should now be playing hide and seek with this type of guy is just nonsensical.

RP 34. Sorry, but Kate is very, very rude. She's just been intimate with the guy. Emotional bonding should be taking place, but no, Auntie from South America has moved to the head of the line. Michael obviously has little self esteem. A Gem would have removed himself from the premises immediately without speaking a word...and let Kate initiate the next communication, at which time he could have told her that given the context of the situation, it was a very rude gesture on her part to "dismiss" him the way she did. Now, on the other hand, had Kate been talking on the phone to auntie, before Michael arrived for a casual evening, then Michael should have amused himself until Kate got off the phone. It's all about the context.

RP 35. Rarely is a man in complete control of anything. And guess what? Some of us don't care to be in complete control of everything. If being in control of something is important to me, and I can't be in control of it, one of two things will happen: I can linger about and become extremely frustrated, or I can lose interest and walk away. But again, a Gem rarely puts himself in such a position to begin with.

RP 36. This is very good advice.

RP 37. Mostly true, but if he needs or wants to have sex more than twice a week and the woman doesn't, this will obviously impact the relationship adversely and may even lead to its termination. Follow the bank's advice before establishing the relationship: Know Your Customer.

RP 38. Truer words were never spoken.

Obviously, I could go on and on, chapter after chapter. But that's not really necessary. I think that what is important for a woman to take away from this book is that all of the author's advice does not apply equally across the board to all the men out there. If you're looking for a Gem and not the Average Joe, think about the second and third order consequences of following all the advice in this book, that is aimed at how you should deal with an Average Joe, in the hopes of turning him into a Gem. Gems do not want to be treated as Average Joes. They want you to be that very special woman and hopefully a permanent part of their lives. Don't chase them away inadvertently by following advice inappropriate for the specific man with whom you are dealing.

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