Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You |...

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You | Patricia Evans | An Important Book, Poorly Written

books:

Controlling People...

	Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You Patricia Evans Adams Media, 2003 - 352 pages average customer review:based on 69 reviews view larger image
	for more information click here

highly recommended

An eyeopener

My therapist recommended this book and it was an eyeopener -- described my (now-ex) husband to a T! Fascinating insight into human behavior. Even if you don't currently think you're in a controlling relationship, you'll be surprised to recognize the behaviors Evans describes.

An Important Book, Poorly Written

Ms Evans has made a ground-breaking stand in helping people identify a controlling relationship. The behaviours of "controlling people" are made clear and unmistakeable, which will definitely be a comfort to people who may have felt that they could not put their finger on precisely what is wrong in their relationship with a controller. As has been previously noted, the rather fluffy terms Evans uses throughout the work (Teddy, Spellbreakers, etc.) do tend to grate after a while, and Evans does not go on to give much advice on how to cope with a controller once s/he is identified. If the author is leading up to something, I'd love to see it. As it stands, it's spot-on for identifying the problem, but lacking in how to solve it.

for more information click here

Catch this lifeline before the ship sinks, with you still aboard!

After 8 months of a roller coaster relationship and one month in therapy, this book gave me back my sanity. Ms Evans exposes the mysteries about controlling people and the secrets that they struggle to hide, at your expense.

I now understand that it was not me, and there is not much to be done about it. Read this book before you drive yourself crazy trying to understand, or be understood. She delves into the core of the disconnected individual, frankly and with great insight.

Controlling people exsist, they can ruin your life and they are oblivious. Save yourself with this read, before you are tempted to "help" that controlling person that is creating havoc with your life.

for more information click here

controlling people

This was a very enlightening book. I recommend it for everyone, who is in any type of relationship. It helped me deal with every day issues. I bought ir for my 21 year old daughter who keeps dating these controlling men. Then I read it after she did. And I was even more enlightened.

Help! My authentic person has been raped and my psychic boundary has been assaulted!

What I didn't like...

1) If I wanted to read a children's book, I'd break out my favorite Dr. Seuss. That may be too harsh, but I really disliked the "Teddy" analogy, and she wouldn't stop using it, it was everywhere.

2) The hokey labels Pretend People is ok, but I truly couldn't believe how much she used "Teddy". When I first saw the word "Teddy" I thought she would somehow work sexy lingerie into her story, but I was sadly disappointed. My point is - don't make me embarrassed to describe this book to someone. Maybe my pretend friends will understand, but my authentic friends will probably think I'm signing up with another cult!

3) She repeats her theory far too many times in practically the exact same way every time. Many many pages dedicated to this repitition and meanwhile, if you blink, you might miss the magical phrase you can say to "break" the "spell"... What? Did I miss it? oh, "What". Huh. can I have my $15 back please?

4) I'll repeat this one because I can't see "What" or "nonsense" working on anybody. Sorry, that's not going to cut it. Them's fighting words for most people. I don't see how frustrating your controlling abuser is going to help someone.

5) The examples she listed didn't convince me her theory is provable. SOme of them seemed completely made up, but it was as if she was trying to pass them off as real.

What I liked about this book:

1) I hate to say it, but as much as I hated the "Teddy" references throughout this book, I have never seen this theory before... that people can have a tendency to allow their imaginations blend with reality, which leads to the inability to relate to others and the desire to control them. I hate to admit this, but I think my mind actually works in that sick twisted way, too sometimes. And I picked up this book because I thought everyone around me was too controlling and hoped it would help me sort out some of my problems. What I found was, yes they are controlling, but so am I. I might not be as annoying about it, but I could be someday if I don't stop it. So, even though there were things I disliked about this book, overall, I'm glad I read it. I would have preferred to read it as a condensed article in Psychology Today instead of spending $15 on it and having it take up most of my Sunday, but you can't have everything, can you?

And now I might be quicker to to identify a "backwards approach" or an "assault on my psychic boundary", but I'm sitting here wondering if there's anything I can do about it or if I'm just going to use this information to prevent the stupid things others do to me from really getting to me or to prevent myself from becoming like them. I have more questions now than I did before I started reading. I don't know if that's good or bad, so I give it 3 stars, but in reality, to a living breathing person, I would be too embarrassed to actually recommend it.

for more information click here