Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs | Emerson Eggerichs | Simple Helps for Strengthening a Marriage

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Love & Respect: Th...

	Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Emerson Eggerichs Thomas Nelson, 2004 - 324 pages average customer review:based on 255 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Excellent Book-Simple and Profound Marriage Changing Message

The 4:8 Principle: The Secret to a Joy-Filled Life

Love & Respect is an excellent book and one of the TOP FIVE I recommend in my coaching practice at The 1% Club. Essentially, the book describes in detail "The Crazy Cycle in marriage" (Which triggers and fuels itself) It can be summed up like this:

"Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love. Around and around they go--on the Crazy Cycle."

Is there win-win solution that will keep us out of this dilemma and if so, what is it?

Yes, there is definitely a solution and that is what this book is all about. The solution is both biblical and counter-cultural, meaning that it goes against what is popularly promoted and exalted in our modern society (TV, movies, talk shows, most books, most schools, etc.). For the most part, modern culture recommends "following your feelings." Clearly the bible says, "Obey God's principles." Our relationship faces consequences either route we take. An understanding, in and of itself, of the Love & Respect Principle goes a long way to deflating negative emotions when they flare up.

Here is the quick 10 point overview I shared with my Couples Planning Retreat clients when I recommended the book:

1.Assume the goodwill and good intentions of your spouse in all situations. Reread point number one.
2.A husband is to love (verb) his wife without condition. Focus on loving. What does this look like to your wife?
3.A wife is to respect (verb) her husband without condition. Focus on respecting. What does this look like to your husband?
4.Avoid the crooked thinking mistake: "I feel hurt; therefore, you hurt me." This logic naturally leads to withholding either love or respect.
5.Loving or respecting your spouse often requires you to "step out in faith" particularly in those rare moments where "love is not deserved or respect is not earned." After all, what is the big virtue in either loving or respecting when it is obviously deserved? God's greatest blessings are reserved for those who act without evidence or assurances. To paraphrase Goethe, "Treat your husband as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he should be and could be and he will become more than you ever imagined. Treat your wife as she is and she will remain as she is. Treat her as she could be and should be and she will exceed all of your expectations."
6.Reacting to the negativity (minor or major) of your mate gives them more power than God ever intended. Instead, act out of either love or respect. This is a clear choice.
7.Husbands, remember, when you love your wife when she is unlovable, you are not validating her negative behavior, you are following a biblical principle to act toward your spouse with reverence, honor, and love and thereby bolstering her capability to respect you the way you want to be respected. Isn't that what you really want to happen?
8.Wives, remember, when you respect your husband when he is unrespectable, you are not endorsing his poor behavior, you are obeying biblical principles and investing in his capability to love you the way you desire to be loved. Isn't that what you really want to happen?
9.Treat each other as though you were really in the relationship with the Lord, not your spouse. When you speak to each other, and before you speak to each other, imagine God standing next to your spouse and adjust your words accordingly. With practice, this discipline will become a very productive habit.
10.Who should break the Crazy Cycle if you find yourself stuck in it? Answer: The most mature person in the relationship!

There is a ton packed into this book and I encourage you to buy a few copies and share this principle today!

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Simple Helps for Strengthening a Marriage

I'm always on the lookout for a Christian book on marriage that is simple and straightforward in its approach. This title fits the bill, offering the basic directive to the husband of "love her" and to the wife "respect him." The author uses Ephesians 5:33 as the cornerstone for his insights, expanding it to many different areas of couples' lives. I recommend this book highly to any married couple wanting simple helps to strengthen their marriage.

BEST MARRIAGE BOOK!

This book gives you the secret to happiness in marriage.

And it makes it so easy -
Just one command for the woman AND one command for the man. That's it!

When even just one of those commands is applied, it changes the marriage completely!

I would recommend this to anyone who's married, wants to get married, or is going to get married!

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Terrific Book

This book is full of great information on the differences between men and women and their vastly different needs and perspectives. I'd recommend it as a must-read for all who want to improve communication and understand their spouses.

The Best Happy-Marriage Book Ever Written!

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

Too often we give to our spouse what WE need, not what THEY need. Find out how to give what THEY need. I've read lots of men-women marriage books in search of answers to problems that occur too often between husband and wife. Finally a book with real answers to real problems...not some new psychological gimick! The pieces to the husband-wife puzzle are finally laid out for easily assembly! If you are responsible, your spouse can't help but being "response-able". I wish I'd read this book years ago. My husband is reading it too, because he's seen such a wonderful change in me. This book is a great companion to the Feldhahn books "For Women Only", and "For Men Only". Every marriage counselor should recommend, and follow this book. If every married person followed this book, the divorce rate would drop to an all time low! Fall in love anew with your spouse, as you read this book.

Diana A.

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