A Grief Observed | C. S. Lewis | Help in Time of Grief

A Grief Observed | C. S. Lewis | "A tender heart, a steel-edged mind"

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A Grief Observed

	A Grief Observed C. S. Lewis HarperOne, 2001 - 112 pages average customer review:based on 141 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

Help in Time of Grief

This is another amazing book by Lewis, and another that I have read multiple times. I have had to read it for at least three university courses over the last 18 years. This book is unlike anything else that Lewis ever wrote. It is raw, visceral and at times disturbing, unlike most of his other work that is very precise, specific, well argued and clearly laid out.

Recently I heard this story: `Douglas Gresham, C.S. Lewis's stepson recently released a book about Lewis called Jack's Life. It includes a DVD interview, where Gresham states that Lewis did not intend to publish A Grief Observed; it was a personal notebook. When it was published it was under the pseudonym NW Clark and by a publisher Lewis had never published with. Gresham also said that Lewis received numerous copies of the book as gifts from friends who thought it would help.' That speaks to the power in Lewis's writing; even his friends thought the book would be helpful for him as he journeyed through his grief.

Lewis states in his book The Four Loves: "We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him, throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it." That view is drastically changed when he writes Grief. In A Grief Observed we have a very different approach. Lewis presents a very visceral response to the loss of his wife. An example of this is that Lewis states at the beginning of the book: "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing." This book shows us more of Lewis's own heart and life than almost anything else he wrote.

It is a great book for those dealing with loss - either for yourself or for someone you know and love. It is often used in grief counseling, and one of the courses I read it for was on the spirituality of death and dying. This book is a gem in the cannon of Lewis literature. It will not disappoint.

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"A tender heart, a steel-edged mind"

In A Grief Observed, the heart of C.S. Lewis has been peeled away, revealing its tender, fragile core--the tender fragile core of a man who fully loved a woman.

Lewis writes, "The act of living is different all through. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything." (p. 11) Through these few words, Lewis captures for us the depth and breadth of his loss; it is above him, all around him, inescapable.

Added to his longing for his beloved Joy, is his almost palpable grief. "I not only live each endless day in grief," writes Lewis, `but live each day thinking about living each day in grief." (p. 10) Such emotional words, coming from a man devoured by grief, a man who usually writes such logically-driven, clear-headed theological expositions.

And so is revealed to us C.S. Lewis, the man.

Yet even in this time of immense loss, immense sadness, his faculties do not desert him. Lewis' sharp mind cuts through his grief, to once again to dissect theological concepts. Once such concept Lewis dissects is the reality of suffering as it relates to the nature of God.

Lewis says "The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness." (p.43) Lewis then concludes that God must be a surgeon. "But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinder and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting." (p.43)

With his rapier-sharp mind, Lewis slices away dead dogma to reveal a sliver of the living truth: God is a surgeon who allows suffering for our healing.

Sandra Eggers
Author
Dying Body, Growing Faith

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Commiserating

When I went through a time of incredible grief and confusion, this book was a comfort to me. Lewis was able to express what was turning in my head and heart. I underlined sections of this book, and would go back to them time and time again, because no one else seemed to know or understand what I was trying to convey--the depth of pain and confusion I felt. I felt like I was drowning in the middle of a vast ocean, and even if I could swim I had no idea where the shore was.

It is sentences like this that I could connect with: "How often--will it be for always? How often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say 'I never realized my loss till this moment.'?"

While it didn't give me insight into how to get out of the grief, it helped me bear it, and maybe that was enough.

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Shadowlands?

This is C S Lewis at his best, the lose of his wife, and the turning point in his life all discussed in great depth.

Accessible Lewis

I have found much of Lewis' work to be difficult to wade through - style, content, depth. Always worth the wade, it can still be tedious. "A Grief Observed," a slender volume, is both direct and compelling. Easily read in a couple of hours, it reveals a more human (doubting) perspective of his own journey. Personally, I can identify with the struggle more than the triumph these days.
This book works through the stuggle of coming to grips with grief over the death of his wife - railing at God, feeling the misunderstanding of friends and disorientation of life and faith.
It reveals truth that we all move through in resolution of our grief. Not moving too quickly through the process, and ending with yet some doubt I found it genuine, real and felt.
I used this with a group and enjoyed the discussion as we discussed a chapter a week. Great Introduction and Foreword, as well. Worthy of discussion, too!
The resource of "Shadowlands" (sreen movie) or "Through the Shadowlands" (BBC film-for-television) are helpful in contextualizing this book. I showed them after we had read the book and was delighted with the insight it gave persons not familiar with Lewis' life and work.

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