Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other...

Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of ... | Rosalind Wiseman | Great Insight Into Girl Bullying

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Queen Bees and Wan...

	Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of ... Rosalind Wiseman Three Rivers Press, 2002 - 352 pages average customer review:based on 94 reviews view larger image
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highly recommended

The Basis for the Movie Mean Girls
PARENTS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN GIRL WORLD

Do you feel as though your adolescent daughter exists in a different world, speaking a different language and living by different laws? She does.

This groundbreaking book takes you inside the secret world of girls? friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid and insightful book, Wiseman discusses:

? Queen Bees, Wannabes, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself
? Girls? power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them
? Good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation
? Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, ?Check Your Baggage,? and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter
? Related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter

Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents and a welcome sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes is compelling reading for parents and daughters alike. A conversation piece and a reference guide, it offers the tools you need to help your daughter feel empowered and make smarter choices.

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Enlightening for Dad

Simply put, I found the book to far exceed my expectations for it. As a male, the author's insights into girls' social roles and interactions were a huge eye-opener. And as the father of three girls, I appreciate all the examples of specific situations girls may find themselves in, how their thinking/social conditioning may have contributed, and how they can extricate themselves.

As others have noted, the author's presentation is non-judgmental, and she makes great use of first-hand accounts to introduce or support the discussion, not as trite filler.

This book will go on my shelf as an irreplaceable "field guide to my daughters, their friends and their social habits".

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Great Insight Into Girl Bullying

This book does a beautiful job of painting a picture of the unique culture of girl bullying and teasing. Alot to be learned. Every parent with a daughter should read this book. Additionally, I recommend highlyBully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop Bullying which gives so many strategies...both proactive and for intervention on how to deal with this ever pervasive topic.

A must read!

If you have a daughter currently in middle school, this is a must read before high school!

Sugar and Spice? More like Napalm and Hot Sauce!

I survived eight years of single sex education (high school and college), and work in an industry populated by mostly women in office settings. I am here to tell you, it doesn't matter if you are a teenager in classes with other teenagers, or if you are in a multi-age group setting in an office - GIRLS / WOMEN ARE JEALOUS AND TWO FACED! As the movie Mean Girls was based on this book, it was more of a documentary than entertainment (although it was certainly both), and you realize how depressing it really is.

Girls are mean. Period. No human female despite age, race, soci-economic backgrounds, value system, etc. is immune to the sociopathic tendancies that women are capable of. This is a good book for women to understand their peers and for mothers to understand what their daughters are going through. Traditionally, women were not taught until relatively recently that we are able to achieve the same things that men are. How we attained power was to cut each other in half with words. You as a woman must overcome jealousy and stop pitting one against the other.

However, while this book gives sound advice as to how, why and what to do about the caddiness of girls / women, it can only give you good coping skills. The best way to handle these situations is to be nice, but not too nice to others. Don't let people get too close that they have ammunition to use against you. Believe me, if you have never experienced this before, you have no idea the lengths people will go to in order to cut you down. And, somewhat crazy as it may sound, I am a 33 year old woman whose closest friends are all men. Jealousy, emotion, and irrational behavior has cost me several women friends I've had over the years. It's rough sometimes, but, I guess I have no choice, do I?

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Almost, But Not Quite. NOT Recommended for Parents of Fat Girls

There's so much good in here, but Wiseman's naivete on the normality of fatness gets in the way of this being an entirely safe or sanity-promoting book. It's simply normal for some women and girls to be "overweight". There's no evidence anywhere that fat people "eat their problems" (to use the naive phrase from "Mean Girls") any more than thinner people. Some of us are genetically destined to be at the top of the weight bell curve. It's great that Wiseman recommends The Beauty Myth, for instance, but I wonder if she actually read it. Or The Dieters Dilemma. Or The Obesity Myth. Or Losing It. Or any of the other books in the fat acceptance/health at every size canon.

Perpetuating the old fat-people-are-gluttons myth simply is no longer acceptable or scientifically accurate. Reading this book and projecting its messages on to young fat girls is potentially as dangerous as any other form of bullying Wiseman describes.

Maybe someday she'll correct this major flaw in a future edition?

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